Happy Birthday Kiddo

       I've never really liked frosting on cake all that much. It's always seemed too sweet and way messy. Still, a birthday cake should be decorated, so I found a cool idea and ran with it. We call them 'tattoo cakes' because the design is painted into the batter and baked in, and I tend to use easy to replicate tribal tattoo patterns for inspiration. 

      My daughter wanted a birthday cake to share with a group of gamer friends for her birthday so a dragon design seemed perfect. I've not done one of these in ages, and I'm pretty pleased with the creature I summoned for her. This started as a dozen drops of blue food color. I use a couple of toothpicks to drag the drops through the batter, creating the main design, then go back and fill in. I like that it's unique and easy to transport (this one had an hour and a half car ride to college) without mess. And for those craving the extra sweet, a dollop of frosting can be added when serving individual pieces.

Special shoutout to my great grandmother's bowl used to mix the cake, and my brand new teak spoon from Pampered Chef.

Keto Means No Potatoes **

**bonus pie crust recipe scroll to bottom

I'm not a chef but, minus a few absolute disasters, I consider myself a fair cook. I was a work from home mom for the majority of our kids' childhood, and part of my job was cutting corners and being as frugal as possible. Potatoes are cheap and good to eat and, I'm telling you, I can cook potatoes into a ton of tasty dishes. Mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, new potatoes and green beans, twice baked potato, fried taters, potato cake, tater salad, home fries, shepherd pie, funeral casserole, and, my eldest son's favorite, potato soup. You know the question, if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be? My answer was always potato.

So it's a little odd now to realize I've not bought a potato in over nine months. I've not gone without potatoes in my pantry more than a few weeks at a time in all the years we've been married. And what really is the oddest thing of all is that I've not missed them as horribly as I thought I would.

So why no potatoes?

Let's back up to early 2019. My husband hit a point where weight loss was a must, and I could stand to lose a few, too. (HA! I was way fatter than y'all let me know!) We still had two kids living at home, but they were self sufficient enough to manage their own meals. So my husband and I decided to give keto a try together.  Not true keto, but something we've settled on calling dirty keto. We don't count our macro, test our urine, diet with supplements or any of that stuff. We just massively upped our protein intake, cut out nearly all sugar and processed carbs, and nixed the starchy vegetables.

Yup, no potatoes.

I kind of half-heartedly count my carbs and try to keep the total under 30 net a day. I won't lie. The first month was tough. I felt bad, I was cranky and had no energy. You can't work out on this diet, not even after you acclimate, just because your body is too busy scavenging its life source from uncooperative fat cells. But after the first few weeks I began to feel pretty decent and I've not been moody about the missing foods in my pantry. It helps that I'm not hungry.

Turns out, eating a lot of nuts, meats, cheese and eggs will totally curb your appetite. And the vegetables that are on our approved list are all high in fiber (which offsets the gross carbs into a very small number) and that is filling too.  We eat about five times a day now and that helps manage appetite and keep your metabolism up.

Together, Rick and I have lost the equivalent of a small person so obviously the change in our eating habits is having an affect. We've had to buy new clothes because some things, like underwear, just wouldn't stay put on our smaller butts. The change is dramatic enough that people are asking questions about our weight and diet now.

Anyway, part of why I've started blogging again is to share recipes and stuff here.  And to reward y'all for reading this far, here is my new favorite recipe for pie crust:

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Keto Pie Crust

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*  2 1/2 cup blanched almond flour
*  1/4 cup-ish sweetener: I used monkfruit, a little more if you use Erythritol and omit entirely for savory pie crust
*  1/4 tsp salt
*  1/4 cup butter melted
*  1 large egg beaten
*  1/2 tsp Vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees f.

(I used a food processor but you can mix this up in a bowl with a potato masher if you have patience to get it all blended)

Whir together the almond flour, sweetener and salt.

Melt butter, add vanilla, pour evenly over the dry ingredients, then pour in beaten egg. Pulse until everything starts to combine, crumbly. Turn food processor to high for a few seconds until it starts to ball up. Turn off, stir down the ball into the remaining crumbs to help it all combine evenly. Process again if needed until there is nothing dry left.

Put your dough into your pie plate knead it into a pie crust - I use a fork and my fingers to shape a patterned lip.  Prick a fork over the bottom to make vent holes so it won't bubble.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly golden.

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Calories: 180 | Fat: 17g | Total Carbs: 5g | Net Carbs: 2g | Fiber: 3g | Sugar: 1g | Protein: 6g
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I filled mine with sugar free instant Jello pudding. Chocolate was great, add a tiny bit of unsweetened cocoa powder to make it really rich and blend with 2 cups of heavy cream to get a thick chocolate mousse. Delicious!

RECONFIGURING

Reconfiguring.

That's what the pleasant GPS voice said as I left the route she had selected for me. "Reconfiguring." After a pause, she began giving directions again, based on my current position, a route that essentially was a U-turn. It would have been easy to listen to her and go back. But I had seen the wreck on the interstate and wanted no part of that mess. So I let her repeat herself through half a dozen intersections until finally she reconfigured and found a new route.

Reconfiguring.

Rick and I got married very young. Contrary to popular rumors, we didn't start our family for another six years. The plan was to be empty nesters before we were 50 years old, to have plenty of years left to be a couple. In the meantime we centered our lives around raising our children. People ask what your hobbies are when you are an actively involved parent and the answer is a variant of, "Well, I have two boys in scouts, and a girl in 4-H and karate, and we have youth group on Wednesday nights and..."

Fast forward to 2019 and our lives have done a U-turn. My husband and I made some major changes to our diet in May, cutting out most sugars and simple carbs. We've lost a fair bit of weight, the equivalent of a small person between the two of us. And we've lost our active parenting status as our youngest son moved into his own home in June and our daughter left for college in August. Suddenly, our four bedroom home has a lot of space that isn't being actively used. So for the first time ever, we have a guest bedroom.  And now we are no longer scheduling all of our time off around our children's activities. In fact, we took a real vacation, just the two of us and our dog for over two weeks.

Reconfiguring.

I like to pick out a word at the close of every year, a focus for the upcoming year, a theme for my goals. As 2019 closed, I examined my life and found a lot of space isn't being actively used. I'm going into the start of a new decade and most of the motivations that guided my decisions for the last 23 years no longer apply. It's time for a new route.

Reconfiguring indeed.